I usually write the titles for these posts first, because I know what they're about. But much like the last week, I'm, for once, speechless.
Remember that number one rule about blogging? As in, the one that is 'never blog when you're sad, angry, annoyed, upset, worried, jealous, all of the above' etc. Well I'm currently all of the above, plus some. Time is meant to be a good healer, but when you suddenly find you're actually waiting your entire life, you're waiting to live, but you are actually living, and it's eating into that life, I realise I do actually have a problem with this. I read something once, if anyone cares, about when you die, imagine if you relived your entire life but doing the things you did on earth, but in a different order. A more organised order, where you spend your entire cumulitive time doing something in order, decreasing in time you spent doing it. That's hard to explain, but if you spend 9000 days of your life asleep, you're then asleep for 9000 days straight. If you spent 500 days of your life waiting for various things such as the bus, your friends, 5pm, in queues, you spend 500 consecutive days doing those 'waiting' things. And so it decreases. 100 days crying? Off you go for 100 days. And then the number gets smaller and smaller, so if you spent just 10 days laughing, all the minutes you spent laughing are squished together and you laugh all at once, for 10 days. Get it? But does it make you want to try a million different things in your life so that you don't have to spend 9000 days sleeping? I really wish I could remember who wrote the book, and it is on Amazon I'm pretty sure, but I can't remember who it's by.
If this past week hasn't been the worst week in the entirity of my life, I don't even know what could actually be worse. I'm not dependant on anyone or anything, really, but to watch your life as though it's a glass ball being thrown on the ground, that's a little difficult to deal with. But life has to go on, and in a lot of circumstances you have to act as though nothings wrong. Essays aren't going to play their violins for you, essays don't give a shit if you're sad. Essays that aren't handed in by the due date fail you, and they won't give a shit about that either. Exams don't wait either, actually. Neither does work, or your family's health. They'll carry on without you if they have to, but they'll still dangle that rope for you to drag yourself along with, trying to catch up with everyone. I need some vodka.
But even though I still am, 'all of the above', lots of things still make me smile, and I'm still counting on having more hours constantly smiling and laughing than I'll have constantly crying. Like shopping. Shopping always works.
Whitby didn't make me happy. It absolutely rained like it had never rained before, and I was convinced I'd never dry out. We were actually there for the goth festival, for uni (of course), but actually spent more time drinking Bakewellbombs in Weatherspoons than we did looking for goths. It was also reyt foggy, and you couldn't see nowt.
We spent a good half an hour playing a romantic game of mini golf, which was great fun. Not what we were meant to be doing at all, and the Emmanuel College student inside of me was screaming YOU'RE ON A SCHOOL TRIPPPP MAAN, but when you go to uni, this kind of 'free time' is included in the itinerary. 'Pub time' is also included… what. Flirting with the barman too. Not really, I feel like Miranda when I say that, but a boy talked to me, and I laughed hahaha and then I sat down and never saw him again.
And my hair got a big knot in it. This is the most boring news I could ever think of, but it was painful enough to force tears out of my eyes when my poor mother was lumbered with the task of getting them out.
It looks a lot better, thanks. I don't know how long it'll stay like that though, because I still refuse to brush my hair, but I promise I'll try.
And then, Thursday 1st May was the NEBA final night. All those coloured heats built up to this one enourmous show, with an 80ft set (so I'm told. I still remain skeptical). It was the most nerve-racking show I've ever done and I practically hated every second of it. I was so unprepared, because it was meant to be projection mapped, but due to a slight technical error, the Hippo media server fell over and we could no longer use them at all. Luckily the state it 'landed' on was appropriate for the entire show but I know that the show was still pretty amazing, and it would have been unbelievable if it had all of the mapped set working properly. This meant I was little button presser again, and had to control the screens. As well as a guest speaker who insisted on saying 'next slide' for me to advance his pictures. May have been my fault, if I hadn't mixed up the mouse wire with the clicker wire, he may have been able to control it himself… ah.
I've been waiting for these 'decals' for a couple of weeks because they're from Etsy, and shipped from Hong Kong. They're alright I guess, but I don't think they'll last long haha. That apple stalk is a separate, tiny little sticker that feels very vulnerable. I like them though.
I feel like I ran 6 million errands today, getting things done, sorted, asked…
I also decided to go shopping. I didn't care how alone I was, and how out of control my life was sitting eating two burgers alone in McDonalds hahahaha. I can end up buying loads of stuff when I'm shopping on my own. I get to go in all the shops I want to go in, and none of the ones I don't, and it's fab.
I bought this pair of shorts from Lipsy today. I think they're gorgeous, obviously.
I also bought a couple of tops and things from Primark because having like, 3 new tops makes you feel brand new. Thinking ahead to summer… ;) Also socks that say 'I ♥ gym', despite never actually even passing through the doors of any gym ever.
Bought some shoes too, because it's almost finally time I retire the old white converse… They've done 4 years, which is pretty good. My mam hates them because they're so old and tatty, but I like them. It's the way converse are meant to be. Here are the new pair, that I think are fab. They're not for festivals, no no. They're suede you kneuuwww.
Festivals… I find out the week after next if I'm at Norway, Reading or Leeds, Longitude in Dublin, and I'm already confirmed for McBusted in Hyde Park and T in the Park, and waiting for Kendal Calling too. Hopefully, hopefully I'm not bored this summer. I've really tried hard to find something to do that will last all summer that I'll enjoy and benefit from, and this seems like it'll do the trick.
Gutted I had to miss the first Eurovision semi-final yesterday too - I was too busy bullshitting my way through 1500 words on the authenticy of events. I've seen pictures and videos, and I did actually have it on in the background (muted) yesterday, and the stage is just fab. Every year I want to work there even more, and just be a part of it, it's just so fab. Everything's fab. Fab. I'll get there though, even if I'm just a runner. I want a lanyard!
I reckon I've already said too much in this post :/ So now I'll just sit surrounded by my purchases, wondering if I can be bothered to get up and make any tea… which is unlikely, and if it gets too late, I'll just order a takeaway…
Jordanavia :)
Remember that number one rule about blogging? As in, the one that is 'never blog when you're sad, angry, annoyed, upset, worried, jealous, all of the above' etc. Well I'm currently all of the above, plus some. Time is meant to be a good healer, but when you suddenly find you're actually waiting your entire life, you're waiting to live, but you are actually living, and it's eating into that life, I realise I do actually have a problem with this. I read something once, if anyone cares, about when you die, imagine if you relived your entire life but doing the things you did on earth, but in a different order. A more organised order, where you spend your entire cumulitive time doing something in order, decreasing in time you spent doing it. That's hard to explain, but if you spend 9000 days of your life asleep, you're then asleep for 9000 days straight. If you spent 500 days of your life waiting for various things such as the bus, your friends, 5pm, in queues, you spend 500 consecutive days doing those 'waiting' things. And so it decreases. 100 days crying? Off you go for 100 days. And then the number gets smaller and smaller, so if you spent just 10 days laughing, all the minutes you spent laughing are squished together and you laugh all at once, for 10 days. Get it? But does it make you want to try a million different things in your life so that you don't have to spend 9000 days sleeping? I really wish I could remember who wrote the book, and it is on Amazon I'm pretty sure, but I can't remember who it's by.
If this past week hasn't been the worst week in the entirity of my life, I don't even know what could actually be worse. I'm not dependant on anyone or anything, really, but to watch your life as though it's a glass ball being thrown on the ground, that's a little difficult to deal with. But life has to go on, and in a lot of circumstances you have to act as though nothings wrong. Essays aren't going to play their violins for you, essays don't give a shit if you're sad. Essays that aren't handed in by the due date fail you, and they won't give a shit about that either. Exams don't wait either, actually. Neither does work, or your family's health. They'll carry on without you if they have to, but they'll still dangle that rope for you to drag yourself along with, trying to catch up with everyone. I need some vodka.
But even though I still am, 'all of the above', lots of things still make me smile, and I'm still counting on having more hours constantly smiling and laughing than I'll have constantly crying. Like shopping. Shopping always works.
Whitby didn't make me happy. It absolutely rained like it had never rained before, and I was convinced I'd never dry out. We were actually there for the goth festival, for uni (of course), but actually spent more time drinking Bakewellbombs in Weatherspoons than we did looking for goths. It was also reyt foggy, and you couldn't see nowt.
 |
| That was it. |
We spent a good half an hour playing a romantic game of mini golf, which was great fun. Not what we were meant to be doing at all, and the Emmanuel College student inside of me was screaming YOU'RE ON A SCHOOL TRIPPPP MAAN, but when you go to uni, this kind of 'free time' is included in the itinerary. 'Pub time' is also included… what. Flirting with the barman too. Not really, I feel like Miranda when I say that, but a boy talked to me, and I laughed hahaha and then I sat down and never saw him again.
And my hair got a big knot in it. This is the most boring news I could ever think of, but it was painful enough to force tears out of my eyes when my poor mother was lumbered with the task of getting them out.
It looks a lot better, thanks. I don't know how long it'll stay like that though, because I still refuse to brush my hair, but I promise I'll try.
And then, Thursday 1st May was the NEBA final night. All those coloured heats built up to this one enourmous show, with an 80ft set (so I'm told. I still remain skeptical). It was the most nerve-racking show I've ever done and I practically hated every second of it. I was so unprepared, because it was meant to be projection mapped, but due to a slight technical error, the Hippo media server fell over and we could no longer use them at all. Luckily the state it 'landed' on was appropriate for the entire show but I know that the show was still pretty amazing, and it would have been unbelievable if it had all of the mapped set working properly. This meant I was little button presser again, and had to control the screens. As well as a guest speaker who insisted on saying 'next slide' for me to advance his pictures. May have been my fault, if I hadn't mixed up the mouse wire with the clicker wire, he may have been able to control it himself… ah.
 |
| Can you really lie thirteen 6' guys along the floor to make it an 80' set? |
 |
| They've never both sat on my bed together before… |
 |
| Bestie |
I've been waiting for these 'decals' for a couple of weeks because they're from Etsy, and shipped from Hong Kong. They're alright I guess, but I don't think they'll last long haha. That apple stalk is a separate, tiny little sticker that feels very vulnerable. I like them though.
 |
| Suburban. |
I feel like I ran 6 million errands today, getting things done, sorted, asked…
I also decided to go shopping. I didn't care how alone I was, and how out of control my life was sitting eating two burgers alone in McDonalds hahahaha. I can end up buying loads of stuff when I'm shopping on my own. I get to go in all the shops I want to go in, and none of the ones I don't, and it's fab.
I bought this pair of shorts from Lipsy today. I think they're gorgeous, obviously.
I also bought a couple of tops and things from Primark because having like, 3 new tops makes you feel brand new. Thinking ahead to summer… ;) Also socks that say 'I ♥ gym', despite never actually even passing through the doors of any gym ever.
Bought some shoes too, because it's almost finally time I retire the old white converse… They've done 4 years, which is pretty good. My mam hates them because they're so old and tatty, but I like them. It's the way converse are meant to be. Here are the new pair, that I think are fab. They're not for festivals, no no. They're suede you kneuuwww.
Festivals… I find out the week after next if I'm at Norway, Reading or Leeds, Longitude in Dublin, and I'm already confirmed for McBusted in Hyde Park and T in the Park, and waiting for Kendal Calling too. Hopefully, hopefully I'm not bored this summer. I've really tried hard to find something to do that will last all summer that I'll enjoy and benefit from, and this seems like it'll do the trick.
Gutted I had to miss the first Eurovision semi-final yesterday too - I was too busy bullshitting my way through 1500 words on the authenticy of events. I've seen pictures and videos, and I did actually have it on in the background (muted) yesterday, and the stage is just fab. Every year I want to work there even more, and just be a part of it, it's just so fab. Everything's fab. Fab. I'll get there though, even if I'm just a runner. I want a lanyard!
I reckon I've already said too much in this post :/ So now I'll just sit surrounded by my purchases, wondering if I can be bothered to get up and make any tea… which is unlikely, and if it gets too late, I'll just order a takeaway…
Jordanavia :)
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