I feel so pathetic because of what I've just done…
Remember that Norwegian festival I was going to? Well, now I'm not. I guess I got cold feet, and scared about getting there, because I found out that I would be the only UK person doing what I was doing, and that was a little bit daunting. Not so much the actual work and time spend there, but the process of getting there. I would have had to have gone alone all the way there, and all the way back. That doesn't sound too bad, but when you have to get a taxi / public transport to Manchester airport after working there for the past week, a transfer from Oslo Rygge airport to Oslo centre (which is about an hour) and then to your hotel, then in the morning a 4 hour train to Arendal via somewhere I've never heard of, to then catch a local bus to Hove, to then walk a mile to the actual festival site, it's a little scary to do on your own. I'd be fine if I was with someone, or even if I had done it previously, but to head on out there by yourself when you're 19 isn't what I had in mind.
I wish I was actually going, I don't want to withdraw, but I just couldn't do it by myself. I must sound about 10. All the time I hear 'don't be such a pussy', 'man up', 'you're 19, act it', but really I'm a child trapped in an adult's world. In a click of the fingers I now have to sort my entire life out myself and do things 'on my own'. Is this what being an adult is like? Being on your own? I don't like it… I think I'm in too much of a rush to grow up. And it's true, when you're single, all you see is happy couples. This is not what this is about, but it makes sense… people are happier with other people.
I've been like this my entire life. I hate and will try to avoid doing things that I have to do alone. It's so lonely and horrible. Most school trips, German exchange, Tall Ships, my sixth form lessons, uni, other festivals this summer, various other events, I've all had to do 'by myself'. There were of course other people there but I never enjoyed doing these things as much as I enjoy doing things with my friends. I feel like I crave the company, more than anything. I like to talk. I know everyone's different, but how can people seriously spend days or weeks by themselves, going back to their little 1 bedroomed flat to cook dinner for 1 and then go to bed. It's like, the opposite of fun. Unfun.
Anyway, I like to pretend to myself on this blog and on Facebook that I enjoy spending time alone, but only in teeny tiny doses.
My parents bought me a tent, which is quite cute and little, and it's lucky I'm small because tall people do not fit in my tent.
We all know Jemima loves tents. She literally stayed in there until I kicked her out, and even then she put up a fight to be evacuated. Remember like, 4 years ago?
I was debating which disposable camera is the best, which is a bit of an oxymoronic question because 'best' and 'disposable camera' do not go together in a sentence. But it was like, is Jessops better than Fujifilm, which is better than Kodak, which is better than non-branded? Are they all the same or is there in fact a slight difference between quality of the film loaded, or lens, or whaaaat? Anywayz, went back to Jessops because I got 6 for £3 each, which is a quality bargain. However, as I inspected them all to make sure the terrible quality of their builds wasn't going to impact whether they work or not, I noticed that in the flash of one of the cameras, the word FUJIFILM was written. Like, oh. But now I finally understand what the packaging means when it says 'this camera is made from cameras placed on the EU market'. I also now understand why is demands you don't take the cardboard off… because underneath that Jessops logo, is a Fujifilm logo… Busted.
Yeah, they're for festivals because my phone is being drained and not recharged. Living the hipster lifestyle for a couple of weekends.
I had to buy some headphones in Wilkinsons because I was having 4 trips on the metro that day, and I'd forgotten my good ones. This is now the 4th pair of in-ear headphones I own, but these ones are staying in my bag for when I forget the good ones again. For £6, they're… still pretty shit. They were the most expensive ones though! Don't even want to know what the £1.20 ones sound like…
He's so clingy recently. It's like I have an actual 2 year old.
Still, it's a nice surprise when you finish cleaning your teeth to find he's waiting for you in bed hahahahaha. Doesn't it look like he's swimming in the ocean? This is only the second coloured sheet I have, and it's instantly 100 times better than any other sheet I've ever owned, and we all know how much I despise bed sheets…
I also have to mention, I HAVE A HOUSE! Me and my friend from uni can stand each other enough to buy a house together, woooo, hahaha. Nah, it's a cute little 5 bedroomed house in the deepest depths of Sunderland and it has more than student accommodation for less money. In this house we have an actual sofa or 2, a decent kitchen, a washer and a dryer, Sky TV, a double bed… the list goes on. After being shown around some terrible places, this one is the best, and I actually really like it. I move in on the 1st September officially and it's going to be fabulous to be able to live in more than one room, unlike in Scotia Quay. I'll miss my en-suite, but I'll survive…
Oh, and I got tickets to go and see The 1975 in Manchester in September, I'm so excited!! I don't know how I managed to get tickets, and accidentally set my alarm for the wrong time. But I managed to wake up at about 8:59 and log on to refresh the page once, confirm two tickets and pay, just like that. It seems other people had been waiting since before 9am and didn't get any tickets, and I just saaiiiill on through, refreshing once and going back to bed. Haha, nah. So excited though! Can't wait to see them again at Reading, T in the Park and maybe Longitude too, as well as in Manchester in September.
Jordanavia :)
Remember that Norwegian festival I was going to? Well, now I'm not. I guess I got cold feet, and scared about getting there, because I found out that I would be the only UK person doing what I was doing, and that was a little bit daunting. Not so much the actual work and time spend there, but the process of getting there. I would have had to have gone alone all the way there, and all the way back. That doesn't sound too bad, but when you have to get a taxi / public transport to Manchester airport after working there for the past week, a transfer from Oslo Rygge airport to Oslo centre (which is about an hour) and then to your hotel, then in the morning a 4 hour train to Arendal via somewhere I've never heard of, to then catch a local bus to Hove, to then walk a mile to the actual festival site, it's a little scary to do on your own. I'd be fine if I was with someone, or even if I had done it previously, but to head on out there by yourself when you're 19 isn't what I had in mind.
I wish I was actually going, I don't want to withdraw, but I just couldn't do it by myself. I must sound about 10. All the time I hear 'don't be such a pussy', 'man up', 'you're 19, act it', but really I'm a child trapped in an adult's world. In a click of the fingers I now have to sort my entire life out myself and do things 'on my own'. Is this what being an adult is like? Being on your own? I don't like it… I think I'm in too much of a rush to grow up. And it's true, when you're single, all you see is happy couples. This is not what this is about, but it makes sense… people are happier with other people.
I've been like this my entire life. I hate and will try to avoid doing things that I have to do alone. It's so lonely and horrible. Most school trips, German exchange, Tall Ships, my sixth form lessons, uni, other festivals this summer, various other events, I've all had to do 'by myself'. There were of course other people there but I never enjoyed doing these things as much as I enjoy doing things with my friends. I feel like I crave the company, more than anything. I like to talk. I know everyone's different, but how can people seriously spend days or weeks by themselves, going back to their little 1 bedroomed flat to cook dinner for 1 and then go to bed. It's like, the opposite of fun. Unfun.
Anyway, I like to pretend to myself on this blog and on Facebook that I enjoy spending time alone, but only in teeny tiny doses.
My parents bought me a tent, which is quite cute and little, and it's lucky I'm small because tall people do not fit in my tent.
We all know Jemima loves tents. She literally stayed in there until I kicked her out, and even then she put up a fight to be evacuated. Remember like, 4 years ago?
 |
| I used to look really weird… |
 |
| How cute haha, Jango has to have love forced upon her hahaha |
 |
| Bought lots of disposable cameras for more hipster fun than ever. They were £3 each, man. |
I was debating which disposable camera is the best, which is a bit of an oxymoronic question because 'best' and 'disposable camera' do not go together in a sentence. But it was like, is Jessops better than Fujifilm, which is better than Kodak, which is better than non-branded? Are they all the same or is there in fact a slight difference between quality of the film loaded, or lens, or whaaaat? Anywayz, went back to Jessops because I got 6 for £3 each, which is a quality bargain. However, as I inspected them all to make sure the terrible quality of their builds wasn't going to impact whether they work or not, I noticed that in the flash of one of the cameras, the word FUJIFILM was written. Like, oh. But now I finally understand what the packaging means when it says 'this camera is made from cameras placed on the EU market'. I also now understand why is demands you don't take the cardboard off… because underneath that Jessops logo, is a Fujifilm logo… Busted.
Yeah, they're for festivals because my phone is being drained and not recharged. Living the hipster lifestyle for a couple of weekends.
Dyed my hair 3 times. When it's dry, it doesn't hang in rats' tails like it does on the picture, and I tried my hardest to recreate the 'I haven't dyed this for 6 months' look again. Because after dying it the first time a lighter blonde, I regretted it soooo bad since it looked pretty bad, and so just dyed the top darker (which is now very slightly ginger). Then the ends got dip dyed again because I still haven't moved on from 2012. It looks better now, but I still wish I never touched it…
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| Wasn't impressed with his bandana. |
I had to buy some headphones in Wilkinsons because I was having 4 trips on the metro that day, and I'd forgotten my good ones. This is now the 4th pair of in-ear headphones I own, but these ones are staying in my bag for when I forget the good ones again. For £6, they're… still pretty shit. They were the most expensive ones though! Don't even want to know what the £1.20 ones sound like…
He's so clingy recently. It's like I have an actual 2 year old.
Still, it's a nice surprise when you finish cleaning your teeth to find he's waiting for you in bed hahahahaha. Doesn't it look like he's swimming in the ocean? This is only the second coloured sheet I have, and it's instantly 100 times better than any other sheet I've ever owned, and we all know how much I despise bed sheets…
I also have to mention, I HAVE A HOUSE! Me and my friend from uni can stand each other enough to buy a house together, woooo, hahaha. Nah, it's a cute little 5 bedroomed house in the deepest depths of Sunderland and it has more than student accommodation for less money. In this house we have an actual sofa or 2, a decent kitchen, a washer and a dryer, Sky TV, a double bed… the list goes on. After being shown around some terrible places, this one is the best, and I actually really like it. I move in on the 1st September officially and it's going to be fabulous to be able to live in more than one room, unlike in Scotia Quay. I'll miss my en-suite, but I'll survive…
Oh, and I got tickets to go and see The 1975 in Manchester in September, I'm so excited!! I don't know how I managed to get tickets, and accidentally set my alarm for the wrong time. But I managed to wake up at about 8:59 and log on to refresh the page once, confirm two tickets and pay, just like that. It seems other people had been waiting since before 9am and didn't get any tickets, and I just saaiiiill on through, refreshing once and going back to bed. Haha, nah. So excited though! Can't wait to see them again at Reading, T in the Park and maybe Longitude too, as well as in Manchester in September.
Jordanavia :)
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